Ira (SETH ROGEN) and Daisy (AUBREY PLAZA) mid-argument on the patio.
IRA
We were supposed to go out on a date together.
DAISY
We are going out on a date. I thought so.
IRA
We’re not any more. No. Because once you fuck my roommate that kind of ends it with me.
DAISY
What are you talking about? Don’t treat me like that.
IRA
Just so you know how I’m seeing you - you’re a starfucker. You’re a girl who met a star and then fucked him and he’s not even that famous. What if a real good-looking celebrity was my roommate? What if I lived with James MacAvoy or Jude Law or something?
DAISY
I don’t know. I probably would fuck both of those people.
IRA
Don’t say that.
DAISY
I’m sorry. Lower the bar a little bit.
IRA
I can’t believe that.
DAISY
If a hot girl walked over here, naked, and was like “Do my body,” you would. You would have sex with her.
IRA
No. I’d feel really uncomfortable, and then I might ask her to a Wilco show.
DAISY
Okay, then you’re the first guy in the world that I ever met that’s like that.
IRA
I thought you were the kind of girl that would wait two months and then have sex with a guy. I didn’t think you would just--
DAISY
I’m an independent woman. I’m allowed to...fuck people.
IRA
Well, if I had known that, I would have scheduled our date a lot sooner.
DAISY
Give me a break. I don’t even know you. This is the longest conversation we’ve ever had.
Daisy walks away.
